Spam!
I currently have 456 spam e-mails in my e–mail inbox. And I have not replied to one. I feel terrible, these nice people are just trying to help me out and I’m ignoring them like a jerk! It’s not like I don’t have the time, I got the time. So here we go:
Dear Teresa Head,
Thank you for sending me your e-mail about Megadik. You’re right, I often hear “Damn it! Your penis is really tiny!”. And yes, it does make me feel stupid. It’s like you’ve read my mind. And more sexual partners, more orgasms and more pleasure sounds good to me!
I never thought that a lady might prefer a dildo to me, but now that you mention it, that makes me very nervous. Especially since I’m married! Teresa, I think you and Megadik might have just saved my marriage. I’m not too up on how this stuff works (obviously!) but is Viagra Soft Flavored Sildenafil one pill, or an ice cream of some sort? $3 per 100mg pill does sound like a reasonable price though. I’m intrigued by this Christmas Gift 0l0dkz that comes with it! Sounds exciting! Thank you again, Teresa. I just hope Mike Best, Mike Bet, Mike Bester, Mike Betar, Mike Betts, Mike Betty and Mike Bette, Mike Betat and Mike Bettate all heed your wonderful advice as well! Best of luck, hope to hear from you soon.
-Mike Betette
Dear Kefxerotalentdiz@xerotalent.com,
I got your “Unbelievable Quality At Unbeatable Prices!” e-mail and to be honest, I’m a bit skeptical. You say that I can decide any watch that I like and it will cost me just a little bit more than a good quality dinner. Well, is that a dinner for two or one? It seems kind of open ended. And when you say a “good quality diner” it sounds like you have a specific place in mind. Where were you thinking? Because when I think “good quality dinner” I think home-cooked or maybe Olive Garden. But you probably have higher standards than me. Heck, I don’t even own a watch and you’re selling beautiful replicas.
Also, in the second sentence you mention that you are “figure 1 replica watches online”. Again, I apologize if I’m coming across as a Philistine here, but how important is it for a watch to be “figure 1”, really. Please be honest, I do not know.
And finally in your last sentence you wrote, “ Your new good-looking watch is sure to catch everybody is eye and make populace admire it”. I don’t think good-looking needs a hyphen. You may want to double check me but I’m pretty sure it’s two separate words. I will definitely check out your website though. I may not buy today, but thanks for the heads up.
-Mike Betette
P.S. You may want to change your e-mail address, a salesman with Xero Talent next to their name may put some people off. Not me, but some people. Also, zero is with a “z” in the states.
Dear Owen Mays (hiixclqjkokn@bnpn.com),
How dare you!! Even if I did want to buy V I A G R A I would never use your company! “Aware of fraud of poor medications”? Why, this is just a scare tactic to suck old people in and make them afraid! There’s no reason to start screaming the sky is falling to people who are already having problems with their p3nis’! Furthermore, I highly doubt your wonder drug is able to increase the length by 3” and the width (girth) by 20%! If it can, why haven’t I heard about it before, huh? Seems like that would be pretty popular. I would buy it for sure!
And then you go on to suggest that this product will supposedly “lead my boner to leadership”, by visiting Canadian Health&Care Mall and I won’t regret! I have a right mind to forward this e-mail to the immigration office AND the border patrol! It’s people like you that are ruining our heath care system in America. Sure, we have to pay for medication and doctor’s visits. But we also don’t have to wait in line for hours on end and can choose our own doctors. We live in a free market society, remember?! My sister’s friend lives in Canada and she actually comes over here for check-ups, and she’s real sick!
So, I don’t care if I would be able to “invade so deep into woman, she’ll scream and shout like crazy” with your product. This American is standing up for himself! Good day, sir.
-Mike Betette
